2012 Reflections

Hmm, I honestly didn't think I'd post again before New Year, but I sat down to update my Facebook status like millions of others - to wish everyone a Happy New Year, and I realised I might actually have a lot to say!

So, I'm going to start with a gigantic thank you to everyone who has supported me over the past year. I know I said this at Christmas, but it sort of needs repeating. No words can possibly convey how much it means to have so many people backing me, and to have made so many amazing friends.

This is supposed to be a blog about writing, but when I think about all that's happened this year, there are many other things that stand out which made 2012 great. Moments with family, moments with friends, moments when I've been on my own and had sudden flashes of inspiration that hit me out of nowhere and made me view things differently.

But far and away the biggest change in my life happened when I was with Annalisa Crawford. Just after it happened, I wrote a blog post about it, but it felt so personal, I emailed it to Annalisa and never posted it. Now, I think I'm ready to share - not the whole thing, but the parts that are important and explain why that day was such a big deal.

Those of you who have been following me for a while will know about my battle with anxiety. I have only been out of the house on my own twice in the last ... maybe seven years. One of those times was at the beginning of December, when I set off to Plymouth to experience one of the most insane things of my life!

I was given two VIP tickets to see Fozzy as a birthday present, and after sifting through the choices of people to take with me, Annalisa was both the most obvious, and the person I knew I'd have the most fun with. Lucky for me, she was more than happy to accept and accompany me on my adventure! The problem? I had to actually get to Annalisa's on the train, alone, and spend a night in a hotel alone. I went through every single feeling you can possibly have during the week leading up to the journey. I was excited, terrified, calm, didn't want to go, desperate to get on with it, and so, so tired from not sleeping. When the day arrived, everything was okay. I got nervous once or twice on the way but I had to keep focusing on the reason. FOZZY! My chance to not only see them live, but to have dinner with them! The idea of meeting them made me both hyper and slightly nauseous. What if I made a total idiot of myself? Meeting someone you've always wanted to meet is the scariest thing, because there was also the fear that they might not live up to my expectations. (They totally did, btw!)

See entertainment blog for what happened at the gig! 

This blog post doesn't do justice to the level of fear I felt when I first got on the train to begin my journey. And maybe it's a bit fan-girly to say that I did it because I really wanted to see Fozzy, but it is what it is. I HAD to get out of my rut to see the band who have, in one way or another, meant a lot to me since I first heard of them several years ago.

Not a single second of this trip would have been possible without Annalisa. It takes a lot of patience to hang out with someone with anxiety. It's not easy, and it can be kind of exhausting.But Annalisa did everything as if we've known each other for years. She knew when I really needed to get out, and when I was just a bit wibbly. So, thank you so much, Annalisa, for being part of my adventure, and for making it so easy and the most fun I've had in ages. *hugs*

The point of this epic ramble is that that day, I learned quite a lot about myself. Mostly that when something really, really matters to me, I can step up and get it done. Of course, getting it done is always so much better when you have a little help from your friends. :D

So, on that note, I'm going to wish you all a Happy New Year, and best wishes for 2013. May it be a year filled with love, happiness and success! Whatever you're doing tonight, have fun and stay safe!