The fabulous Elana Johnson is celebrating the release of her latest book, Surrender, by hosting the Never Surrender blogfest! To participate, all you have to do is blog about a time when you didn't surrender! Easy peasy!
I am going to blog about a very dark time in my life - which sort of sucks because this is meant to be a happy tour! However, it was the most challenging thing I've ever been through, so hopefully it is inspiring in some way.
Around six years ago, I went through a complex break-up. It led to me quitting my job to take some time for myself, and even though I thought I was okay, the situation spiralled until I became agoraphobic. Leaving the house was NOT an option for me. I'd lost all my confidence, and at the worst point, I couldn't leave my bedroom without having a panic attack. It also happened in the middle of summer, the time when I should have been outside having fun, not hiding away.
The road to recovery was slow. The first tentative steps down the stairs to the living room were rough, as was the journey into the back garden. It sounds so ridiculous to say that you're scared in your own house for no reason at all, and it was a while before I felt comfortable again. Going out was an exhausting thing. it took so much concentration to try and hold myself together, that when I got home from a ten minute walk, I felt like I'd run a marathon.
I knew the only way I would ever get better was by not giving up. By forcing myself out of the house, and into the world again. Six years later - I am cool with leaving the house, although I am not good at doing it alone.Looking back, and remembering how I dragged myself from the depths of misery makes me both sad and proud. Sad that I ever got so low, but proud that I got over it.
So there you have it - the time I didn't surrender!
Click here to buy Surrender right now! Good luck with the blog tour, Elana!
P.S As a quick side note, England play their first match in Euro 2012 this afternoon - come on boys!!
I am going to blog about a very dark time in my life - which sort of sucks because this is meant to be a happy tour! However, it was the most challenging thing I've ever been through, so hopefully it is inspiring in some way.
Around six years ago, I went through a complex break-up. It led to me quitting my job to take some time for myself, and even though I thought I was okay, the situation spiralled until I became agoraphobic. Leaving the house was NOT an option for me. I'd lost all my confidence, and at the worst point, I couldn't leave my bedroom without having a panic attack. It also happened in the middle of summer, the time when I should have been outside having fun, not hiding away.
The road to recovery was slow. The first tentative steps down the stairs to the living room were rough, as was the journey into the back garden. It sounds so ridiculous to say that you're scared in your own house for no reason at all, and it was a while before I felt comfortable again. Going out was an exhausting thing. it took so much concentration to try and hold myself together, that when I got home from a ten minute walk, I felt like I'd run a marathon.
I knew the only way I would ever get better was by not giving up. By forcing myself out of the house, and into the world again. Six years later - I am cool with leaving the house, although I am not good at doing it alone.Looking back, and remembering how I dragged myself from the depths of misery makes me both sad and proud. Sad that I ever got so low, but proud that I got over it.
So there you have it - the time I didn't surrender!
Click here to buy Surrender right now! Good luck with the blog tour, Elana!
P.S As a quick side note, England play their first match in Euro 2012 this afternoon - come on boys!!
I've know you for a long time, and watched you over come agoraphobia. I'm so proud of all you've achieved over the past six years. I'm sure others reading this will be inspired by how you didn't surrender! ♥
ReplyDelete*huggles* You were one of the people who helped me lift myself out of that crappy place - so thank you! <3
DeleteThat's great that you worked so hard to overcome your phobia. A lot of people don't. You have reasons to be proud of yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Stina!
DeleteSomeone very close to me was also agoraphobic, so I understand what a challenge it is to overcome. I'm very proud of you. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard to make people understand unless they have seen it or been through it themselves - I hope the person you know managed to get out of it too. xx
DeleteNew follower here. Nice to meet you. Love the theme of this blogfest. Thanks for sharing your story and good for you for not giving in to that fear!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the follow, and for your comment! :D
DeleteGood for you for not surrendering! I'm sorry life was so hard for you then but that is awesome you were able to overcome it. Thanks for sharing your story. It was an example to me.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I hope that sharing it can, in some way, help someone else! :D
DeleteThat is an inspiring story, for sure. You overcame it and that's the main thing, and your blog exudes positivity, so you've clearly come a long way.
ReplyDeleteI didn't register Euro 2012 until the other day - not much of a footie fan and I'm not really allowed to cheer on England from up here! Best of luck all the same!
Thank you, Nick! That time seems like so long ago, but it's impossible to forget the struggle
DeleteLOL, what is it with Scottish people hating England?! If you cheer for us, I won't tell! :D
Be proud of what you did. Thanks for sharing your story. It's very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine!
DeleteWow, Kyra. Thanks for sharing this with us. That's wonderful that you've made so much progress. I'm very impressed. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! It was a long road, but things are so much better now!
DeleteKyra, thanks for sharing your story! Anxiety in many forms can be crippling, and agoraphobia has got to be one of the most severe and global forms. I am so happy that you made up your mind to overcome it -- and that you continue to work at it every day!
ReplyDeleteI still suffer quite badly with anxiety sometimes, but the agoraphobia is definitely more under control now. :D Thanks for your comment!!
DeleteGlad you fought through it!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIt's always amazed me how trauma can rearrange our brain chemistry. It happened to me too, nearly 20 years ago with depression and severe weight loss as the result. Still to this day on Saturdays (one of my fav days) I must fight depression. There's a trigger I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteWeird huh?
Me too, glad you didn't surrender to a life of agoraphobia.
Teresa
Triggers are such a pain to deal with. I'm sorry you are faced with one every week, and to know it's coming too must just make it worse. :(
DeleteThank you for your comment, it's always nice to know someone understands, even though it's a horrible thing to go through.
That is amazing Kyra! Sometimes it takes years and years for people to overcome that particular challenge and look at you! Fist pumps for taking those first steps everyday. :D
ReplyDelete*fist pumps*
DeleteThanks, Cassie. I still have to deal with it from time to time, but for the most part, it's better. :D
Good on you, Kyra! I'm proud of you. You're a fighter. Now aren't you glad about that??? One of my main characters in the story I just finished is agoraphobic. :)There are days when I never want to leave the house either, and then there are days when I can't wait to get away. lol
ReplyDeleteLOL! :D
DeleteThanks for your comments, and yes, I am glad to be a fighter!
Ohhhh.... Kyra... bless your heart...
ReplyDeleteGosh, what a huge thing to deal with and overcome... I would've never expected with the way you come across so confident and energetic and personable... you've made HUGE steps and I'm so proud of you!
STAY with us! We all adore you and you're so super talented. *huge ginormous hugs* :D
*huggles*
DeleteThank you! It is a big thing to overcome, and it is much easier to hide in the online community. Not that I'm hiding it exactly, but you know what I mean lol! I've always been positive, so I try to focus on that to help me through the occasional rubbish days!
I became agoraphobic after a stillbirth, many years ago. I would keep the curtains shut so no-one could look in, and hide if anyone banged on the door. I have a full life now, but it's still there, in the background. I rarely go in crowded places or queues on my own. I still have bad days. I'm just glad writing is a quiet, home based pursuit! Thank you for writing the post, lots of uncrazy people have agoraphobia.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been tremendously difficult, with people wanting to rally around, and you needing time to be alone.
DeleteI'm glad things are better for you now, even if there are still rough days sometimes. :)
I have no personal experience with phobias so I can only imagine how scary this is for someone. Just wanted to say good for you for fighting to get your life back. Life is good!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWell done on overcoming your agoraphobia! A very inspiring story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Annalisa!
DeleteKyra, well done for sharing that, and for being so brave! I admire your courage and determination!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :D
DeleteYou are so strong, Kyra! Good for you for being brave and overcoming your fear.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to England in the Euros!! The last big soccer (football!) tournament right before the Olympics is so exciting. I hope they do well!
Thanks!
DeleteI hope they do well too, I get SO into it lol!
Hey! I’m excited. I’ve been seeing all these blogfests on your blog, and decided to join this one. =)
ReplyDelete~Aidyl
Cool, glad to see you joining in! :D
DeleteYou're a strong woman, Kyra. I've forced myself out of the house on several occasions in my life. I'm glad you bounced back from that low!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emily! :D
DeleteKyra-I'm so happy you were able to overcome your fear and were so brave and truthful to post about your relationship here. Breaking up is always hard to do.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't suffer from the same phobia as you, I have one or two or five of my own I'm working on overcoming...LOL It's not easy, but I'm so happy you were able to do it.
And I don't like leaving the house without someone coming with either. I always drag someone along with me, no matter where I go. My friends don't even complain about going to the food store or the doctor's office anymore. Somehow, going with me to even the most mundane places, always turns into some kind of an adventure. Since you read my FFOF posts, you know this is true :)
LOL, yes! I would totally go places with you if we lived closer! That way, we'd never have to go anywhere alone!
DeleteWow. Amazing story. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Jolene!
DeleteAn old Chinese proverb says, “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” You got up. You are a success story. An encouragement to us all to get up and get back into the game of life. Way to go Kyra!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenn! I love that saying!
DeleteCongratulations on facing the option to surrender and winning! I do believe that the most trying times are the ones that make us stronger.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree! :D
DeleteThat is awesome! You should be very proud of yourself. A lot of people don't ever leave the bedroom again. It shows your strength and now you're even stronger for it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine!
DeleteKyra, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been to go through but I can't say how much I am proud of you for each step you took toward overcoming your fears. That is an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave, strong woman!
Andrea
Thank you! Those first steps seemed really big, but after a while, they got much easier to take!
DeleteWow, that is a moving story. I am glad that you never gave up. The world can be scary, but it can also be so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessie! :D
DeleteBreakups really have the power to rip our hearts in two, don't they? So glad you came out of everything stronger!
ReplyDeleteOh yes! They can be really, really brutal!
DeleteWow - I've never experienced that kind of debilitating fear but I know how hard it is to overcome, and how brave you are to have done it.
ReplyDeleteAnd go England!
Thank you, Melodie!
DeleteThank you for sharing this story about yourself. It can't have been easy to share, but I believe your honesty and courage would help many people.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I really hope it does help other people! :D
DeleteHi Kyra .. that must have been frightening - but I'm so pleased to know you had enough courage and strength to get yourself through it - these unfortunate incidents in people's lives are good to know about - as we can all learn from them. Good for you - long may you have a happy life now .. cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your inspiring post. I am so glad you didn't give up and kept getting stronger and stronger!
ReplyDeleteThese kinds of fears are so hard to overcome. I'm glad you did, and that you were able to bring yourself out of that dark place. Thanks for participating in the blogfest!
ReplyDeleteOne of the characters in my most recent book is agoraphobic, so I did a lot of research on it. Kudo's to you for crawling your way out of that hole...on your own! :)
ReplyDelete