This post comes with a warning - it isn't very fitting with my usual sunny vibe - but I'm hoping that taking the time to unload this crap from my head will help me feel better and back to normal in no time!
So, you may have noticed I've been ... not away, but not as present as usual. Last week, I turned 30. Yeah, I know, no big deal, right? And it's not, I am a firm believer that age is just a number. But saying goodbye to my twenties hit me pretty hard. I am feeling the first stirrings of failure because I can't afford to live alone, I don't have the things most other people my age have, and I'm not sure where it went wrong. What happened? How am I THAT girl? When I first read Bridget Jones' Diary, I thought it was the funniest thing ever - but now I am at that age ... well, it's not so funny lol.
Then there's the writing thing. I always wanted to write. I always WANT to write. But lately, I am plagued by this nagging doubt telling me I suck. My writing isn't good enough, my books are too short, or too long, the characters aren't believable, my endings are rubbish. Blah, blah, blah. I'm not really looking for sympathy here because I know that everyone reading this who is a writer has been in this position. They've felt the doubts, they've let it consume them for a while, they've felt the sting of a negative review, and drowned their sorrows with ice cream/cake/chocolate ... or something else equally as bad for the waistline. I know I can get out of this - I think it's coming to an end but the last few weeks have been rough.
On a less depressing note - the free promotion for If I Let You Go was excellent! Everyone loves a freebie, right? :D Thanks again to all of you who were involved in spreading the word - and if you were cool enough to download, I would really appreciate if you could leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads! <3
Another thing keeping me away from blogging is critiquing. I have read three kickass manuscripts lately, one of which recently got a request from an agent! Good luck, Abby! I feel kinda proud lol. I didn't write the book, but I love knowing that maybe, along with Abby's other CPs, I helped a little. The flipside of critiquing is that I feel slightly hypocritical. It's part of the whole "I suck" thing, but I think if any of these people read my comments, then read Game On, they'd laugh! I've learned a lot since July, maybe I need to re-edit Game On and take some of my own advice.
Slightly related, I've decided that I will take Game On off Smashwords and enroll it in KDP. The reason being, I've made something like 4 sales on Samashwords, as opposed to many, many, many more on Amazon. If I Let You Go did really well, so I might consider doing a free promo of Game On before I release Blindsided.
Aaand those of you who signed up for the Blindsided blog tour will start receiving your posts towards the end of this week. I need to get them done before NaNo starts - yeah, I'm cutting it a bit fine!
Okay, enough of my self-involved ramblings - if you've made it this far, have a cookie! <3 br="br">3>