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GUTGAA - Plus, Seeking Opinions On Fictional Sex Scenes

Have you heard about GUTGAA yet? If not, where have you been? Deana Barnhart has put together an amazing event through September to help writers who are seeking agents. I think this is going to be epic, so check out the schedule here, and sign up!



On a random note, I've recently been thinking about sex scenes in books. I absolutely LOATHE writing them. I find them awkward to write, and all those cheesy euphemisms that so often appear? Ick. For the most part, I don't write sex scenes in full because I'd rather have none at all than one riddled with terrible code words for genitalia! However, the new book I'm working on (non Game On related!) called for a sex scene, and to my surprise, I managed to write it without any difficulty. I'm actually pleased with the way it turned out.

What I'm curious about is, do sex scenes in books make you flip the pages? Do you avoid them, or are you cool with them? Obviously, I won't be changing what I've written for this story, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the topic!

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

Comments

  1. I usually don't read them, but that's just me. And inserting a kissing scene in my second book about killed me, so no way will I attempt anything beyond that!

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    1. LOL! Yeah, those scenes can be really difficult to write!

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  2. The way it's written makes a massive difference, and also the context can help. I'm in awe of writers who can pull off an intimate scene without being blatant or using euphemisms. I've tried it, but I'm a long way off getting it right!

    Excited about GUTGAA! And another new WIP? You're keeping busy!

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    1. I seem to have managed that (I think) in my current WIP, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it so flawlessly again!

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  3. I love sex scenes. Seriously. However, I hate a cheesy sex scene. There is certainly a line there. TMI is never good, and words like: loins, member, manhood (to describe parts), etc. should be avoided.A good sex scene has just enough detail to be hot, but not so much that it reads like a medical record, IMO. Tension beforehand really helps too. I love sex scenes where they come out of nowhere and then totally rock. Charlaine Harris wrote a great sex scene in the 4th Sookie Stackhouse book. Marge Piercy writes them well, too. I've written a few, but I agree it is hard to do. You have to get that perfect balance between sexy and leaving enough to the imagination to not be gross.

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    1. YES! It's so hard to find that balance, though! I agree, words like "member" and "manhood" make me shudder LOL! But it's hard to find suitable ones that aren't too medical sounding, and aren't disgusting. :S

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  4. I'm with Nick. I don't believe them if they are really cheesy, and sometimes they just shout "place gratuitous sex scene here" know what I mean?

    Going to go check out GUTGAA now. Thanks for the tip!

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    1. Lol, yeah! That's the kind of thing I worry about!

      Yay for GUTGAA! :D

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  5. I think sex scenes are great if it's relevant to the storyline! I've found it's best if it's taken ages for the couple to get together and you're really rooting for them by the time it arrives. I don't like tacky sex scenes where the woman has have five orgasms before he's even went near her, for instance. Haha :)

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  6. Of course you had to pose this question just as I hit my second trimester and all I've been doing is checking out books from the library and reading all the sex scenes and kissing scenes. Normally, I'm not such a book floosy, I promise. I usually giggle my butt off because I'm too immature to handle even the word 'hard'. Haha! Oh... guess I still laugh at that. :)

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    1. I LOL'd when I read this! <3 I love you! :D

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  7. Hey, you got a new blog design! I like it. I haven't been writing sex scenes for very long and I find them quite difficult. If they're not well-written, I do find myself flipping pages, especially if the sex is all the time. (I'm boarding a flight now...back later!)

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  8. Ok, false alarm. I started reading the 50 Shades trilogy and surprisingly love it. Say what you want about that series, but those sex scenes are very well written in my opinion. The more I read and write sex scenes, the more comfortable I am with them.

    How's the publication process going along?

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    1. Hey Jen!

      I agree that the more you read and write sex scenes, the easier it gets - but I am definitely still at the stage where it's a struggle!

      I will have to respectfully disagree about the 50 Shades sex scenes - I found them kind of repetitive. :S

      Publication is all good! Game On is out, and the next in the series will follow in November! :D

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  9. I'm cool with sex scenes in books, even if a few make me blush. And I have blushed when I've written a few of them too.

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    1. LOL, yeah I know what you mean! One of my big things at the moment is, "I can't write this, my mum's going to read it!" :D

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  10. Bring on the sex scenes!!! Maybe I'll learn a thing or two. Writing them though, not so easy. Maybe I need to practice more.

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    1. Ha, it's certainly not easy! But they are fun to read. :D

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  11. I have a lot of love stories in my books, so from time to time I do write sex scenes. I've gotten a lot better and more natural, less restrained and squeamish, as I've gotten older. I was a virgin a lot longer than most people (well into my twenties), so maybe it had something to do with not having personal experience for so long. Now I love writing a first-time scene, or a sex scene between a deeply committed married couple (or at least a couple who's engaged or very serious). I tend to focus more on the emotional side of things, and stay away from cheesy or vulgar language.

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    1. YES, that is the best way to do it, definitely. If the emotion is there, it's easier to avoid vulgar language. :D

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  12. I don't like them at all! In fact lots of times I skip right over them. It was one of the things I loved about Game On. I have an imagination I know what it going on behind the closed door. But reading it kind of makes me feel like a pervert :)

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    1. Haha, I never thought if it that way before!

      It was actually your comment about preferring the closed door sex scenes that got me thinking about this. I hope you won't be put off by my new WIP because I didn't close the door, though lol! <3 <3

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  13. Well, I write erotica so sex scenes are a given for me. :)I love to write them and to read them. I can't stand it when authors gloss over or won't go there. I mean, you've taken me into these characters' lives, why shut the door now?

    I absolutely agree about the euphemisms, I don't use them as they definitely make the scene cheesy.

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    1. Hmm, that is a great point! I don't feel that all romance books NEED a graphic sex scene, but I need to try not to shy away from them if it's necessary. :D

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  14. I'm not big on them at all. I usually skim them, looking for dialogue (because that's usually where the interesting stuff happens), but I don't really need all the mechanics.

    Congrats on writing a good one, though!

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  15. I read them. I'm fine with them as long as they're relevant to the story.

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  16. I am quite happy to read them but I think they are hard to write!

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  17. I've written a couple mild sex scenes, but they were very fast. Mostly, I'm a start the action and pan away kind of writer.

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  18. Glad to hear you had no problems with yours. I like sex scenes if they're key to the plot. A lot of emotions can come to the surface in the heat of things! It's sometimes a lot of fun to write a hot scene, or even some erotica. I've done both.

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    1. Do you have anything like that published? I'd love to see - which makes me sound slightly pervy lmao!

      But yes,I agree. I don't like sex scenes that are just thrown in there for no good reason. :)

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    2. I actually have an erotica flash piece published in a Pill Hill Press anthology. More of my novel length stories have sex. And nah, you don't sound pervy! Well, not in a bad way! :)

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  19. I've never actually written one, but it has certainly been implied. I don't usually have trouble reading them unless, like you said, they have all of those stupid code words.

    Glad it's working for you!

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    1. Thanks, Samantha! Urgh, those code words lol!

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  20. I think that sometimes you need to have sex scenes - it's rare for a relationship to be celibate until the wedding night, so not having them can sometimes stick out more.

    I don't enjoy writing them myself, though, I find really clever ways to gloss over them :-)

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    1. Glossing over is one of my favourite things to do LOL! But I decided to give it a try this time - hopefully, it works!

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  21. I don't have a problem if they add something to the characters' development. But if they're just stuck in there (hahahaha!, no thanks.

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  22. Okay, you've twisted my arm. I'm signing up for GUTGAA. :D

    I think sex scenes, like everything, have a place. As long as they add to the story, and are in the tone of it, I'm all for it. Use language, and an amount of detail that's appropriate to you book and your audience. If your book is quite tame, with no coarse language, little violence etc. then a graphic sex scene won't fit in. But if you go into detail with other aspects of life, swearing, violence, bloodshed, even death, why should you shy away from another natural aspect like sex?

    I agree with those who say stay clear of the cheesy euphemisms. Things like manhood pull me right out of a good piece of erotica.

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  23. I don't mind sex scenes, but I find some of them to be cheesy, prolonged, and/or unnecessary. I avoid them, but my earlier writing had them.

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  24. They're okay. In my opinion, sex scenes have to be treated like action scenes (which, they kind of are if you think about it) or fight scenes. They have to have a certain pace to them that keeps the story moving and they can't stall or become too drawn out. It shouldn't feel like the author obsessed over that one scene and just happened to write a novel around it.

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