The fabulous Elana Johnson is celebrating the release of her latest book, Surrender, by hosting the Never Surrender blogfest! To participate, all you have to do is blog about a time when you didn't surrender! Easy peasy!
I am going to blog about a very dark time in my life - which sort of sucks because this is meant to be a happy tour! However, it was the most challenging thing I've ever been through, so hopefully it is inspiring in some way.
Around six years ago, I went through a complex break-up. It led to me quitting my job to take some time for myself, and even though I thought I was okay, the situation spiralled until I became agoraphobic. Leaving the house was NOT an option for me. I'd lost all my confidence, and at the worst point, I couldn't leave my bedroom without having a panic attack. It also happened in the middle of summer, the time when I should have been outside having fun, not hiding away.
The road to recovery was slow. The first tentative steps down the stairs to the living room were rough, as was the journey into the back garden. It sounds so ridiculous to say that you're scared in your own house for no reason at all, and it was a while before I felt comfortable again. Going out was an exhausting thing. it took so much concentration to try and hold myself together, that when I got home from a ten minute walk, I felt like I'd run a marathon.
I knew the only way I would ever get better was by not giving up. By forcing myself out of the house, and into the world again. Six years later - I am cool with leaving the house, although I am not good at doing it alone.Looking back, and remembering how I dragged myself from the depths of misery makes me both sad and proud. Sad that I ever got so low, but proud that I got over it.
So there you have it - the time I didn't surrender!
Click here to buy Surrender right now! Good luck with the blog tour, Elana!
P.S As a quick side note, England play their first match in Euro 2012 this afternoon - come on boys!!