Wednesday, 8 February 2012

I'm Hearing Voices Again!

I'm glad everyone here understands that title - outsiders may think I'm losing my mind!

Yes, it's day 2 of the "I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest," and I am back to share a tad more insight into the characters from my WIP. I know I already said this, but huge thanks to everyone who read and commented on Monday's post - it's been great connecting with so many people, and I am enjoying your blogs immensely!

So, today's challenge is to introduce two characters using dialogue ONLY. Boy, has this been a challenge! I would say dialogue is a strength of mine, but when you take out thoughts and internalization, it looks a lot different! I have noticed that people have interpreted this challenge different ways - and that is kind of what I love about it. When I initially read today's challenge, I read it to mean that we should write characters introducing themselves to each other, not to the people reading, and I have seen a few people do it this way, so I'm going to stick with it!

On that note, this scene is partially lifted from my WIP, but cut down to remove most of the actions and thoughts. (Excuse the few at the beginning! I hope it's okay!)

"So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"


I looked straight into his deep, brown eyes and said, “What makes you think I’m a nice girl?”

“You’re drinking Smirnoff Ice out of a glass, not a bottle with a straw.”

I laughed out loud at his assessment, “That’s all your basing it on?”

“Drinking out of a glass is very classy for this place.”

"Oh come on now, I'm not the only woman who drinks from a glass in here."

"Maybe not, but you're the only one I noticed. And the only one I saw staring at me."

"I wasn't staring. I was just...looking."

"I didn't mind you....looking. But I like to know who is looking at me."

"Well your introduction skills are severely lacking! You're supposed to tell me your name, and hope I don't slap you for mocking the fact that I was staring."

"I thought you were only looking?"

"Shut up, what's your name?"

"I'm Callum. Cal to my mates."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Callum. I'm Shannen."

**

P.S I am on a mini holiday at the moment, so I will read as many posts as I can today, and try to do the rest when I get home tomorrow!




 

44 comments:

  1. I think Callum's assesment of Shannen is spot on here. Its is only nice girls who drink from a glass. Or at least it is where I come from. Drinking alcopops from the bottle with a stew conjures a certain image, an image that most certainly isn't Shannen.

    Great introduction. Can't wait to see what you come up with on Friday. :D

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    1. Lol, I would definitely agree with that! Though, I did used to drink out of a straw....but I put the straw in the glass, so I'm not really sure what that says about me!!

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  2. Great introduction. I like the straw bit. Lol

    Enjoy your mini holiday.

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    1. Thanks Miranda, I am actually getting a lot of work done while I'm on "holiday" lol!

      Glad you liked the introduction - I had a hard time with it, and I still think it could be better, but I am hoping to make Friday's post my best yet! :D

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  3. Nice dialogue, it shows character. I'm interested in seeing how their relationship develops.

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  4. I like that your character tells the other to shut up just before asking for his name.

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    1. Lol, yes, Shannen is quite shy usually, but Callum has a magic way of making her confident enough to say things she wouldn't normally say. :)

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  5. Oooh, I bet these two totally hook up in chapter two.

    I've been reading all these blogfest entries on all these blogs, and each one impresses me more than the prior one, making this kind of an escalating spiral of awe (for the writers I read) and a descending spiral of shame (for my own efforts). Luckily for me, I have leftover pizza for lunch, so that will help get me through the dark hours ahead as I contemplate the fact that EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE INTERNET is a better writer than I am.

    Which is to say: nicely done, here.

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    1. ;)

      I totally know what you mean, and I feel the same way! I feel very far out of my depth in this blogfest, but it's really lovely to get nice compliments from such talented people. For the record, I really enjoy your writing and I think the concept of "The After" is fantastic!!

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  6. Replies
    1. Haha, if you like cocky, you are going to love Callum a LOT! ;)

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  7. Nice job! Hope you have a great mini-holiday. Cheers!

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    1. Thanks, I'm having a lovely, relaxing time! :D

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  8. Great spin on class :) Love how you use it along with the staring/looking, wonderful interaction!

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    1. Yay, glad you liked it! I quite like Cal's idea of a classy woman, it makes me laugh. :D

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  9. Lovely! And I agree with Hope about the new spin. Fab!

    and I'm jealous. I want a mini holiday :)

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    1. Thanks Cassie!

      Haha, I think you definitely deserve one after this blogfest!

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  10. Kyra--Nice :) I love the start of great sexual tension! I can picture the whole scene! Great job :)

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    1. Yay! For some reason, this first words between Shannen and Cal were really hard to write, so I'm pleased the tension came through enough!

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  11. I like this. I agree those first words are so important.

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    1. Thanks Carol - it has been a huge struggle to make it so I am even slightly satisfied with it lol!

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  12. Love it! Great flirting between the two. Very fun. And now I need to know more about where they are at and if she really is a nice girl or not :)

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    1. Hee hee, their flirting does get rather more intense later on! :D

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  13. I read it in a British accent. Love the opening line!

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    1. Yay for reading in a British accent! Thanks for your comment!

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  14. It's always fun to read how people meet.
    Cute blog, btw. New follower!

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    1. Thanks for following!

      Yeah, new character intros are always a lot of fun to write, and read!

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  15. Very interesting interchange. Flirty! Nice job flushing out the characters' voice.

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    1. Thanks Clarissa! I mentioned before that voice is quite hard for me to pin down, and I am so happy it's beginning to come through!

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  16. Okay, I really love these guys. I could totally imagine the scene. Very well done!

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  17. I like Callum! He thinks he's smooth! Great job!

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    1. Yes, he really does think he's got everything a woman could possibly want lmao!

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  18. Wow. You totally captured these guys. What a great voice! LOVED it!

    *New Follower!* So nice to *meet* you!

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    1. Thanks Kelley!! I'm following you back now, and will pop back to read your post a little later when I get home from my mini break :D

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  19. Oh, this is cute! I totally get a sense of these two. :)

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  20. I love, love, love this dialogue. Great secne setting, voice and pacing.

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    1. Thank you! It was pretty challenging to make it work with nothing but dialogue, so I'm happy it worked!

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  21. I like the "I wasn't staring. I was just...looking." Cute. I haven't had a Smirnoff Ice since college, that takes me back. I never drank them out of a glass though. ;)

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    1. Thanks!

      Lol, I haven't had a Smirnoff Ice in a while either! I mentioned earlier that I used to drink mine out of a glass, but with a straw - not sure what that means about my level of class lol!

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  22. Nice! I like the different approach to it.

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